dirty submarine jokes

No its windy!. - 23 Mar 2022. Racist Jokes. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. "She did everything wrong! A submarine. What I loved while doing this collection was also learning these interesting sex facts that never did I know. Gum. She's the only person I would allow to be shrunk to microscopic size and explore me in a tiny submersible machine. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? Tell a sailor and he'll go in and close and lock all the windows and doors. 52) I'm ready to make waves today! Her mom calmly said, That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair. the girl smiled. Kick his sister in the jaw. 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Whos there? The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. What do you call two jalapeos getting it on? He was trying to impress the master chief with his expertise learned . Theyre always on the lookout for a tight seal. Dozer who? While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. I work for a condom company. Knock knock. The guy sitting next to me is 62 tall, weighs 225, and hes a marine. Rubbit 99. Sep 4, 2020 - Explore Paritosh Singh's board "Submarine quotes" on Pinterest. The best 13 navy submarine jokes. Make sure to tell these to true friends because they will understand these dirty-minded jokes. As soon as you open it, you realize its half empty. #53. 94. Nothing. #54. 77. Top Ramen. There are some seamen submarine jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. How is sex like a game of bridge? Whats a womans favorite thing to put in her mouth? Never have dirty jokes for her? dirty submarine jokes. #17. The captain, after showing the basic things required for the young tailor, left to him torn fabrics and uniforms of soldiers. On the other, a sleek American sub, cleancut American crewmen stand at attention. The male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. It only lasted for 30 seconds!, This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. #16. Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. A tearjerker. Read full article. Because i see myself in them.. Dirty Jokes. Have you heard about the constipated accountant? dirty JOKES (random) AARDVARK : VOTE! All three are sitting at a resort by the seaside, and are arguing. Question: Want to hear a joke about my penis? 50) I know a whale joke.. it's a real killer! Ones a Goodyear. The taste. 6. So instead of being angry at the jokes, it would be more fun if we all stick together and enjoy some of the funny Racist jokes. Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Dont make me come in there! Question: How do you make your bae scream during sex? Speaking of dirty jokes, we have the ultimate stockpile of the dirtiest, raunchiest, and definitely, NSFW jokes for you. Whos there? #49 - 40. 74. They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you dont multiply. 19. you have small boobs. A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. Question: How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach? "Yo Mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.". #24. 59. A Quarter Pounder with Cheese, 56. One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!". What happened to the fishing boat that sank in piranha-infested waters? Harry. 82. Knock knock. How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? You ask him nicely. Here are some adult jokes you can use with the right partner. "Because your mum loves roses. #20. Two fresh sailors were talking about assignments they would like to get. Dirty knock knock jokes tend to be stupid so here are a few funny dirty jokes and memes that are actually worth laughing at. They both irritate the shit out of you. Nuts and bolts. But I think this sub's doing even better! One prick and it is gone forever. Whos there? Knock, knock. Amanda. Knock, knock. Comes back all wet. A man was sent to hell for his sins. 87. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? A zit will wait until youre 12 to come on your face. A coconut. Military . A military crew in a submarine just won a major battle, and they rescued a captured civilian from the boat they fought. 33. Dirty mind test: What starts with d and ends with ick? Know what a 6.9 is? The other watches your snatch. What are 3 two letter words that mean small? What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? A tearjerker. What rhymes with kick? A trip without kids. the man asks. As they say, laughter is the best medicine. Tyshawna LeCole is a wife, mother and wedding enthusiast. Gross Jokes. 69. One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, Please send me a sister. Santa Clause wrote him back, Ok, send me your mother.. 9. The Submarine Master Chief replied, Well it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no frigging ears. Q: What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman? 62. Joke #12. Gum. Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Or, two falls and a sub mission. Q: Whats the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower? What did the police catch the naked man breaking into Zales? Read: Offensive and Inappropriate Jokes (not for the faint of heart). 51) I think you're fintastic! The bartender is very impressed and exclaims, "Wow. 41. As he was being led into the pits for an eternity of torment, he saw a lawyer passionately kissing a beautiful woman. The Madam is out of women but, since the guy is Polish she thinks she can get away with a blow up doll and he will never know the difference. Whos there? Rachel was banging her calculator on the table. What do you call a nonce that's fired from a submarine? Here is your chance. The first one to laugh loses, and the person with the most points wins. He worked it out with a pencil. 85. What are 3 two letter words that mean small? How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant? Its not easy working on a submarine. There are more planes in the sea than submarines in the sky. What has 148 teeth and holding back a monster? A Lickalotopus. Seeing the great body of water, Mr Trump felt the need to reassure the two others of his country's militaristic superiority. Now hes a sub woofer. The French general tells them their submarines can stay underwater for three days. What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? *wink wink*. However, if you are bold enough you know where to crack such kinds of jokes to get the best laugh. Question: What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? They're both at the bottom of the ocean, full of seamen. Fire who? Question: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? 3. We challenge you to try not to laugh while reading these out loud to your friends. 66. JOKES BLOND YO MOMMA BIRTHDAY KNOCK KNOCK ANSWER ME THIS. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . 19. What does a robot do after a one-night stand. Toothpaste. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! She loves traveling to new destinations, getting to know the local people, trying new cuisines and then writing about her experiences in the form of a memoir. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Well we've got a boatload! But mum says you are still nifty. If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. Whos there? What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Your girlfriend makes it hard. 54. She told me, "I got tired of the tasteless seamen.". Answer: Because they wont stop to ask for directions. 36. #30. HappyHaptics, YouTube. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, Looks like you blew a seal., No, the penguin insists, its just ice cream.. 54. What does a perverted frog say? Whos there? A submarine. Do you want to hear a joke about my vagina? What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? Every man has one. When the sailor finishes up, he heads to the sink to wash his hands. 2. 49. 38. A thirsty sailor runs from his boat to the nearest bar and shouts to the bartender, "Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, quick!". My zipper. #23. Kayla believes in making every moment count and considers herself to be an adventurer at heart. Knock, knock. . Lie to me! Knock, knock. One snatches watches. A navy seal. 59. There are, actually quite a few benefits to enjoying some off-colour humour every now and then. Lets play Titanic, youll be the iceberg and Ill go down. Ideas for the top 101 dirty jokes were taken from the following sources. Knock, knock. Toe Jokes. As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, All right! 21. Whats white and 14 inches long? 71. Camel toe! Cam who? Question: Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman? "Was it a naval beard?". 58. Got an e-mail today from a bored housewife 33, looking for some action! Ive sent her my ironing, thatll keep her busy. You may have aged a bit. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'. What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection? What do a lesbian and a mechanic have in common? Whats a lesbians love language? Why did God give men penises? Just like in the movies and in magazines, there are items that are wholesome and there are items intended just for adults. * "Jurassic Pig". 10. #59. dad. Knock, knock. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Jordana is the most amazing person I have ever met. Go Navy. He worked it out with a pencil. There's a bunch of Australian jokes that have been told more times than a kiwi's shagged a sheep, like, "Australians don't have sex, Australians mate," and "What is the difference between yoghurt and Australia? A zit will wait until youre twelve before it comes on your face. The next morning, the neighbor comes over to the womans house and asks the woman if her tomatoes have turned red. Khan. He only comes once a year. Whats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? You put in my husbands teeth last week, she replied. An old married couple are in church one Sunday when the woman turns to her husband and says, Ive just let out a really long, silent fart. What do they say to each other? Have fun with this collection of Funny Dirty Jokes. It must have been a really bad one we work on a submarine. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say . Of course, we will not forget this exciting section of the dirty and funny question and answer. Funny and Dirty Jokes: A Combination of Tickle and Giggle, 55 Hilarious Movie Jokes That Will Make You Binge, 97 Funny Animal Jokes From Zoo Animals, Dogs and of course, Cats. Give it to me now! She can scream all she wants, Im not giving her the damn umbrella. Knock knock. #11. The refrigerator doesnt moan when I put my meat in it. Your email address will not be published. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot san. Dozer. Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? Why do walruses love a tupperware party? Question: What did the banana say to the vibrator? Dude, your dicks hanging out. Do you have pants I can borrow? 48. Whats worse than ants in your pants. 47. One ejaculation represents a data transfer of 15,875 GB, equivalent to the combined capacity of 62 MacBook Pro laptops. How do you get a Nun pregnant? A woman is having a hard time getting her tomatoes to ripen so she goes to her neighbor with her problem. As part of his job, he had brought his own sewing kit and he asked to left alone while doing his work. What goes in hard and comes out soft and wet? Ken came in another box. Are you from China? Men can push the microwaves buttons and still turn it on. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? What is it? Im always on top of important things. What starts with the letter c and ends with t. Hairy on the outside and creamy on the inside? However, if you are bold enough you know where to crack such kinds of jokes to get the best laugh. Having sex in an elevator is wrong, on so many levels. Because I see myself in them. Me!. What did one butt cheek say to the other? The dentist said, I think you have the wrong room.. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. This week's puns and one liners take the form of Submarine Jokes. 72. Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Whats the difference between the G-spot and a golf ball? Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full. The Package - added 4/2005; Reappearing Dolphins - added 12/2004; Chief Duck - added 3/2004; Bring Enough Clothes - added 3/2004; Two ORSE's for the Price of One - added 3/2004; Repel Boarders (Even if it's Santa) - added 12/2003 Smuggling Hash - added 12/2003 The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell to Your Kids. Dirty Seniors. #52. They always come in a little behind. Got a twelve inch sub. #56. #5. #50. Pin Ups Vintage. A washing machine doesnt follow me home after I dump a load in it. 43. 19. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? What do a near-sided gynecologist and a puppy have in common? then my coworker started trying to open the window. 9. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? #28. Rubbit. Working on my laptop reminds me of my time on a submarine. JOKES TOP 10 JOKES 4 YOUR SITE RECEIVE IN YOUR EMAIL: VISITED DIRTY. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. 23. Question: Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). Answer: Ones a Goodyear. Just ice cream. The wheelchair. 97. What did the penis say to the vagina? Why do women talk so much and why do guys think so much? Question: Whats the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? Navy officials spends a long time away from their families, so many funny jokes are associated with navy, especially submarines. These are customer complaints.. Ones a Goodyear. Despite the long lines at each area, the party is going well, with everyone happily eating and drinking. A new navy recruit has his first day on the submarine. Shakespeare Jokes & Puns . 93. 1. The Rise Of Life On Earth, I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay. Mr. Holland yells at her, Rachel! One of them crawls out to pee before bed. #8. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. Dirty Jokes are actually good for you. What do a boyfriend and a spider have in common? To get involved, all you need to do is donate , pick your favorite jokes for kids, and share a video on social media. What did the O say to the Q? "Son I'm changing your post to the mess hall. #46. Many do! But when he comes back to it later, he finds it torn down. It's his first day on the job and he's given instructions on which istrument does what and chart for morse code. Question: What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? The more you play with it, the harder it gets. 46. What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common? 17. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? black people. He is known for being the funniest among the recruits and he always lights up the mood, even in critical situations. Q: What so you call a snail on a ship? One is a Goodyear, and the other is a great . What does the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you leave? Im surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!. 30. What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? #33. Because they need a better grip. A man goes to a $10 sex worker and contracts crabs. What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? Love On Top, Some want a good laugh and some want it with a little tickle. Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? 48. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales. What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesnt? One snatches your watch. chemistry. 34. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. 69. Are you a balloon? Each one of them has to try and hit objects that are smaller and smaller in size. Ive never had a lentil on my chest. 37. She said she didn't have time. Write down in the comments below your favorite funny dirty jokes that you know or the funniest you have heard. Glasses seem to fit higher on my face. Army soldiers can't comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement. Some of these jokes are funny, some are offensive and the worst ones are disgustingly disgraceful Enjoy! He turns on his signal lamp and sends, "Change your course, 10 degrees west.". Liquor in the front, poker in the back. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. A torpedo! 8. Ridge Racer 3d, A son tells his father: "I have an imaginary girlfriend.". Want to know a proven way a man and woman can be friends without s3x? Keep everyone entertained with our updated compilation of the best nautical jokes around..they're guaranteed side splitters! Post navigation. Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. Ben Dover and find out! Ones a Goodyear and ones a great year. Anita you right now! Question: What do you do if your wife starts smoking? 45. by Kayla Yandoli. What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed? Dissolvable relationships. Ben Dover. Question: Whats the process of applying for a job at Hooters? While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. Ben Dover and Ill give you a big surprise! You can negotiate with a terrorist. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship. The submarine only went down on 14 Russian men. A submarine. Menu. German fisherman was at the sea with a small boat. Answer: A man will actually search for a golf ball. Youve been voted Most Beautiful Girl In This Room and the grand prize is a night with me! comment sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A Add a Comment scrappydoddle Additional comment actions. We share them in our weekly newsletter. #38. Beat it. Following is our collection of funny Seamen jokes. Papa Boner. She has to chew before she swallows. Biology Jokes. Regardless of your skin color, belief or country you can never be protected from the Racist jokes. However, if you are brave enough to tell them, check out the top 101 dirty jokes below. How is life like a penis? Would you like to be on the list? What do you call two lesbians in a closet? Because once youre done with the breast and thighs all you have is an empty box to put your bone-in. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Why did Mrs. Claus want to divorce Santa Claus? Beef strokin off. Kiss. The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? 28. In desperation, they radio a nearby German base. The best items for this prank are binoculars, periscopes and sound powered telephones. A toothbrush. #27. Dozer the biggest breasts Ive ever seen. A panda walks into a cafe. Beef strokin off! Because I want to sea u lion in my bed later! Potty humor is timeless and universal. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. #3. Everyone likes a laugh at a corny joke, right? Whats the difference between a g spot and a golf ball? A submarine. Written By. Question: Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? "If Yo Mama and Yo Daddy got a divorce, they'd still be brother and sister.". Joke has 62.50 % from 62 votes. "You will be serving on the USS Trojan," the Lieutenant says, "A state-of-the-art Submarine erected in 2003, and has never been in the water.". 90. Tell an airman and he will take out a lease with an option to buy. 2. Give it to me! What do you call two jalapeos getting it on? Required fields are marked *. 12. #41. Slow down and possibly use some lubricant. Joke tags. 2.8K. "A submarine!" Dirty Jokes To Tell Your Crush Over Text | Men |(Naughty) These are dirty jokes to tell your crush (bf) over text or face to face to get things hot and heavy instantly. @2023 - The Free Spirit Journal All Right Reserved. Liquor in the front and poker in the back. Drool Jokes. #32. PRINT EMBED THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY dirty JOKES: . The American says "Our subs have such efficient air filter systems that they can stay underwater for months at a time". Two submarines are trying to win a competition. The human taste for crude humor starts very early, which is true of good jokes for kids too. 100+ Cute Puns That Will Make You Laugh And Smile. Why do boys fart louder than girls? 1. What goes in hard and comes out soft and wet? Whos there? When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate. A1: Put you fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with your foot. 84. WARNING: Very inappropriate (and hilarious) language ahead. Sex is like math. Yep, whatever form of transport you find funniest, we've got you covered! Fart Jokes. Because I want to blow you. Is there a mirror in your pants? Direct to the point and ready to hit the road. Question: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? 8. Because you can get them 100% off at my place.". After five years, your job will still suck. The Best Dirty Submarine Jokes 2022. Everyone loves jokes. 45. Khan who? Pirates Past Noon Pages, We suggest to use only working seamen nautical piadas for adults and blagues for friends. - "How much did you pay for those pants? Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ac97acb5f895670bd4b0020b62661cb5" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. A wet nose. 83. Where you put the cucumber. 7. Say what you will about pedophiles. What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower? Ivana lay you. I used to go out with an Admirals daughter, it didn't last long as her naval base was always full of seamen. 47. Heywood. Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? 50. 40. 40. What do boobs and toys have in common? - Victoria Wood. Whats the best thing about gardening? What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Papa Boner. #15. Anita! 47 Funny Jokes for Kids and Family: More time to Laugh, 43 BEST Short and Funny Jokes That Sting (Easy to Remember! Dirty jokes have been among us for ages but most of us are too shy to share the jokes that we have heard. 98. As he explores his new vessel, he notices that almost everything is falling apart with varying degrees of rust. Once you open windows, the problems begin. The best 65 seamen jokes. Why doesnt Santa Claus have any children? 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! Two comedians face off by telling dad jokes to each other. Someones always willing to blow your bonus. Here are the much-awaited 100+ Corny Jokes that are damn hilarious! Life is like toilet paper, youre either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole. Question: What did the elephant ask the naked man? And have we got some great dirty jokes for you. #58. What is Moby Dicks fathers name? Fucking hot! there would have been seamen all over him. "What a joke!" he said. Title of the movie. Is it in? When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. They're both wet when your in them and swallow lots of seamen. Two sperm swimming side by side were having a conversation. The smile looks really good on you. 50. One day in the Atlantic, two subs surface next to each other. Add the bed, subtract the clothes and pray you dont multiply. 60. Wipe it off and say youre sorry. A master baiter! 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell. #9. Im trying to examine you.. "Because I'm trying to examine you." 33) If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me . There are some seamen submarine jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. One man says to the others: "Stop and remove your hats, gentlemen. When the submarine was built, they couldn't come up with a name for it. so when people ask what I do, I can say that I spread my seamen all over the world. 49. It must have been a really bad one - we work on a submarine. Were in the same boat. 83. Sublime t shirt urban outfitters; He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again. Ready to I personally think this sub is doing even better! And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us onFacebook. Whats the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives the girl smiled. Not your wife. Man goes to a whore house. If I was a wrestler with triplets I'd name them Niagara, Victoria and "The Hunt For Red October". 64. I just need someone to blow me. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Knock, knock. A fish walks into a bar. Getting down and dirty with your hoes. Therefore, we have prepared a selection of the most successful ones, making you laugh your fill. Quotes tagged as "submarine" Showing 1-24 of 24. Son: "Thanks Dad!". Do you have a switch? A: Scuba-dive down and knock on the door. More jokes about: dirty, time. Get your fill of knock knock jokes, animal jokes and dad jokes! What do you do when your cats dead? Ivana. This may seem corny, but you make me really horny. 20. The best 13 navy submarine jokes.